I’m not trying to be a hypocrite through these words – believe me, I struggle with this just as much as you. I’m gonna say it right now: I don’t have it all figured out, and I never will. But God is leading me and showing me what’s right in the way of purity. Also, I’m not saying any of this to condemn you. I’m simply writing this to tell you what I believe.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." - James 1:2-3
Heard it many times before, but hadn't truly experienced it before today. The more people question me and give me funny looks about my purity values, the more they strengthen my faith & confirm that I’m doing the right thing.
Call me crazy all you want, but I am saving every part of me for my future husband. I got a purity ring about 3 years ago. Obviously, it means no sex before marriage – that’s a given. But I have decided to take it to the next level.
I’m the kind of person that puts a lot of myself into relationships. Not physically, but emotionally. Relationships are like roller coasters – there are ups where you have a lot of fun... but there are also more downs (heartbreak) than there are ups. Why do we even put ourselves through this rush of emotions? Don’t roller coasters make people sick most of the time anyway? I personally have chosen to simply step off the roller coaster. When God brings along the right guy (at the right time), I’ll know it. We won’t even have to go through all the heartache & pain of the rollercoaster, because we will both know that the relationship is from God. So, God is showing me that I don’t need to waste my time & energy now on relationships that will only last a few months or years. Instead, we should use these years while we are single & free to honor God. When we aren’t tied down in a relationship, we can focus on doing God’s work and furthering His kingdom.
I’m not trying to say that it’s wrong to date. I have just personally chosen to wait. Most people make the assumption that I say “I’m waiting” because I can’t get a boyfriend. Very untrue. I have had numerous offers of relationships within the past few years. But I have turned them down because I need to focus on my most important relationship right now – the one I’ve got with Christ.
And I’m a very impatient person by nature. So me being patient and waiting 5 or so years for another relationship is very difficult. But I know it’s what God wants, so I’m sticking to it - no matter how much I get criticized.
The Bible says that until marriage, we are to treat each other as brothers and sisters. I don’t think that brothers and sisters would be all over each other making out. I mean, at least I hope! ;)
When I get married, I’m gonna have to tell my husband everywhere I’ve been and everything I’ve done. I want the only guy that I tell him about his himself. I came up with a theory this summer: Every time you’re in a serious relationship, you give away a little piece of your heart that you can never get back. When I get married, I want to give my husband my entire heart, 100%. Not 56% or 78%. I don’t want 2% to be in California and 5% to be in New York – I want 100% of my heart in that room with him.
A lot of times marriages don’t last because people get bored. They get bored with a long (forever)-term relationship because they are so used to short flings. People waste their love on short relationships now, so they have nothing left but a little when they get married. I’m saving up all of my love so that when I get married, I can lavish it on that one guy – and never run out.
On that note, I said earlier that I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day. @Nikki Hummel sent me this article the other day, and I really like it.
“every kiss gets imprinted on your heart. The more you kiss, the messier your heart gets. Lipstick marks, scratches from people’s braces (ew), saliva stains (ewwer), etc. When you find the one and tie the knot, you hand him or her your messy heart, and it beats for them and only them. Don’t you think that when that time comes, you'll be, if not necessarily embarrassed, at least regretful about the scratched-up state of your heart? About all the times you’ve kissed other people?” (taken from http://community.sparknotes.com/2011/10/07/nbk-and-proud-a-new-mank...)
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" - Proverbs 4:23 I loveeee this verse :)
If your heart is constantly in a broken state, how will you be able to enjoy the free life that Christ has given you?
In the Bible, Christ talks about an intimacy that can only be experienced between God and the church, his bride. Don’t you want that intimacy with God now and the same level of intimacy with your future spouse? You won’t have that “gift” to give them if you waste it now.
Don’t you know that as God’s children & followers of Christ, we were made to be DIFFERENT? So why do we conform to the world’s way of love? Why do we let the world define relationships? Why do we look to magazines, TV and music videos to tell us what relationships look like? Why don’t we turn to the Bible?
One of my good friends, @Ben Diuguid, posted this quote a little while ago and I LOVE it! “Abstinence is sexy! Modest is the hottest!” :)
Those of you who already have purity rings, I applaud you. Those who don’t, I encourage you to get one... it’s a public proclamation of your decision to follow Christ and his plan for your love life.
And guys... stand up for what you believe, and never back down. Seeing guys with purity rings give me so much hope for the future – it reassures me that I’m doing the right thing. It also gives me hope when everyone of the world says “well, good luck with your little plan. There aren’t any, rare if any, guys like that anymore” to see guys like you living for Christ!
“I'm waiting for the guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot, who calls me back when I hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to my heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch me sleep. I'm waiting for the guy who kisses my forehead, who wants to show me off to the world when I'm wearing no makeup & wearing sweats, who holds my hand in front of his friends, who thinks I'm just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding me of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have me.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.' But most of all, I'm waiting for the guy who has Jesus in his heart, and nothing, not even me, will come before Christ in his life”
So I’m challenging you. Will you accept the challenge and live out God’s plan of purity with me?